Amazing Vintage Ads

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Ahh the good ol’ days! When neither the cigarettes nor the advertising companies had a filter. These are fantastic!

funny vintage ads - smoking cigarettes blow in her face

Smokers of America, do yourself a favor. Make your next cigarette a Tipalet.

funny vintage ads - lady opening ketchup

Del Monte Ketchup – a new top that’s so easy to open, a woman can do it.  Yay!

funny vintage ads - wife gets vacuum for Christmas Hoover

Vintage Hoover print ad

funny vintage ads - sexy secretaries

I thought this was a nail polish ad! Nope, just a typewriter that keeps your hands pretty.

funny vintage ads - VD print ad during war

Ruh roh… watch out boys!

funny vintage ads - weight loss tape worms

Why eat right and exercise when you could just swallow a tapeworm!? Simple solution. This way there’s more time for vacuuming.

funny vintage ads with kids

A big EWWW to the first ad for Love Cosmetics, but could we take a quick look at the fauxhawks on those twinsies?!  Ha!

funny vintage ads sexy women

1953 Ridgid ad and 1959 Bell & Howell Projector ad

funny vintage cigarette ads

Well? Should you offer? After all , if she likes the offer, she might start to play. No strings attached.

funny vintage print advertising

Ridgid, you dog!  These are great.

funny vintage ads - VD print ad

VD is not Victory. Remember that.

funny vintage ads - hot pants

Look better. Feel better. Wake up your body.

funny vintage ads about tanning

There’s nothing better than a nice tan baby!

funny vintage ads - Santa smoking cigarette

Santa, you smooth devil, you. Where’s the rest of your body?

funny vintage ads - cocaine toothache remedy

cocaine toothache drops I had to research this 1885 ad for Cocaine toothache drops – I didn’t believe it was the real deal, but in fact it was. The Lloyd Manufacturing of Albany, New York produced these Cocaine Toothache Drops in the 1800s through the turn of the century, but as the shop owner at MoriaCoon says for this vintage bottle that’s for sale, “I’m sure that they were quite effective for pain relief, their formulation fell out of favor for obvious reasons.”

funny vintage ads - kitchen mixer

What’s with the typography on this one?  Good grief. And the entire grapefruit shoved into the glass?  Kenwood, get it together.

funny vintage cigarette ads

Vintage cigarette ads – Lucky and Camel

funny vintage ads about guns

I’m pretty sure this ad is still running in the West Texas Courier.

funny vintage ads - ovaltine

If birds and music notes popped into my bedroom when I woke up, I’d chug a gallon of this this chocolaty goodness each morning. Also, Ovaltine makes you so fit that you can see your six pack through your nightgown. Really, it’s just all-around good stuff.

funny vintage ads - Midol

Don’t be a bitch.  Have a Midol.

funny vintage ads - wife and husband

So he gets out of bed, gets dressed, straightens his tie, and pops back under the covers for breakfast? Perfect.

funny vintage ads - cigarettes

Here’s another one I had to research… did Reagan really publicly endorse the Chesterfield brand?  Sure did. According to Wiki, In the 1940s and 1950s Ronald Reagan, Bob Hope, Bing Crosby, Perry Como, and Arthur Godfrey were among Chesterfield’s official spokesmen, Chesterfield being one of the primary sponsors of the radio and TV programs of these stars during that time.

funny vintage ads

Thorazine is an antipsychotic drug used to treat schizophrenia and disorganized and psychotic thinking, according to PSYWeb.com. Apparently it also treats a good ol’ case of the crankypants. Side note: I looked up the side effects, and “Worsening of psychotic symptoms” is one of them. HA! So sometimes it works, sometimes it makes it worse. Good luck!

funny vintage ads - skincare

Nothing worse than homelines.

funny vintage ads - Subaru

Like a spirited woman who yearns to be tamed. Brilliant!

funny vintage ads - mom and baby

Nourishing beer for baby. Put that on your registry.

funny vintage ads - Marlboro cigarettes

And that’s the miracle of Marlboro.

funny vintage ads - gun print ad

Note the “Papa says it won’t hurt us” quote from the little girl.

funny vintage ads - secretary

Secretaries across the nation became safer the day the Pitney-Bowes Postage Meter was released.

funny vintage ads - husband spanking wife

Chase Sanborn Coffee ad from 1952. Well, you’ve been warned!

funny vintage ads - cola ad with baby

Soda = Success. Makes perfect sense.

funny vintage ads - gay cruise

This appears to be a BYOP (Bring Your Own Puppet) cruise.

vintage Schlitz Ad

Love this!  Vintage Schlotz ad. I need to start cooking in long skirts.

funny vintage ads - tv and kids

Make your kids watch TV!  Unless you want them to be stupid, of course.

funny vintage ads - wife cleaning the windows

Just another reason to wash the windows with all your might.  It makes you skinny!

funny vintage ads sexy secretary

Here’s my all time favorite. “You bet your sweet telex operator it is!”  I’m going to start saying “You bet your sweet [insert whatever we're talking about here]” every time the answer is “yes” from now on. Can’t wait.

funny vintage ads wives

Makes sense. I will do this. Thanks, Dormeyer!

funny vintage ads husband and wife

Gosh, honey, you seem to thrive on cooking, cleaning and dusting… LOVE this.

funny vintage ads - baby drinking 7-up

No nipple on the bottle or anything?  These ’50s babies were way more advanced than the light-flow, airflex, silicone nipple-requiring babies of today.

funny vintage ads - food chopper and animals

This is disgusting. LOL I can’t stop staring at this one.  PS I’ve never seen roots on a cabbage before – this was educational!

funny vintage ads - beauty print advertising

Looking up now where to get my hands on this stuff!

funny vintage ads - vintage beauty and skincare ad for Maybelline

Sold, Maybelline!

funny vintage ads - woman too skinny

If you’re thing, flat, skinny and underweight, there’s hope for you!